Lose Myself
by karalynn79
Summary: Bella Swan left Forks after high school and swore she'd never go back. What happens when she returns for her 10 year reunion.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey everyone this is a little story that has been floating around in my head for a while. I don't think the chapters will be very long at first. I don't really have an outline and I really just write as I go. I have decided the not go with a beta for right now. But I would love to thank Infame201 for pre reading this for me. Please give me some feed back. I would love to sink into this and knock chapters out as fast as I can. **_

Lose Myself

It's amazing how ten years can fly by. She hadn't stepped foot near Forks High since graduation. She ran far away from the drama of high school as soon as she could. Friends, boyfriends, and the town became too much for her. So, when her parents divorced at the end of her senior year, she decided to move to Florida with her mom and little sister Nessie.

College had been less drama, and she was finally able to be herself again. After college, she'd settled into a nice job at a publishing house. She was actually thinking about writing her own book. Writing was something she found in college that helped her cope with things. The first year had been tough because her parents were still fighting over custody for Nessie, but things calmed down after her dad finally gave up. It was his fault for the divorce anyway.

She'd received word from her childhood best friend a month before that their ten year reunion had been planned. At first, she told Angela that she wouldn't make it, but here she stood staring at the welcome sign.

"Didn't think I'd see you here." A voice startled her out of her thoughts.

"I guess I could say the same thing to you," she said turning to face the voice.

"Well, I still live here."

"You make that sound like it's my fault."

He just shrugged. "How's Florida?"

"Warm and dry." She turned back towards the school. "How's Rose?"

"Married to Emmett."

"Oh."

"I thought Angela would have told you. I see her around town a lot," he said kicking a rock with his shoe.

It was Bella's turn to shrug. "She tries to stay away from certain topics."

"Oh."

"Oh my god! Bella Swan, is that you?" An over excited voice screamed from across the parking lot.

"Alice?" Bella asked when the person got closer.

"In the flesh. I didn't think you would ever be back in Forks. It's so good to see you." She threw her arms around her in a fierce hug.

"It's good to see you, too," she said in a chuckle.

"Well, come on in. You have to tell me everything about Florida." Alice started dragging her towards the school.

Bella looked over her shoulder, and Edward was gone. Just like in high school, he always bailed when one of her friends would show up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everybody! I am here with another chapter. Hope you enjoy! Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to SM. **

2.

Walking into the building, it was like she was sucked back in time. She barely heard what Alice was rambling on about. She felt she was a sophomore in high school again. That was when everything started.

"Bella, are you even listening to me?"

"What? I'm sorry," Bella said shaking her head.

"Damn him. You are back one day and Edward Cullen already has you spaced out. Don't let him do this to you again. He's not worth it," Alice said firmly.

"It's not just him." Bella looked towards the boiler room door.

"Yeah, I know. This place hasn't changed much. I was just telling Jazz that when we first got here."

"Jazz? Huh?"

"Just like I thought; you didn't hear a word I said. Jazz as in Jasper. We were actually able to get a sitter tonight."

"Whoa, what?"

Alice laughed. "I hope you are going to be in town for awhile. We have some serious catching up to do."

"Nessie is with me, so I will be here about a month."

"Yay!"

Being friends with Alice was actually one of the things about high school that Bella actually loved. She was always there for her through all the drama. It didn't matter what was going on; Alice had always shown her support.

"So, you and Jasper, huh?" Bella said as they walked down the hallway.

"Yep. We ran into each other about a year after graduation. I'd always had a secret thing for him."

"Really? I always thought you had a thing for…"

"Edward? I only hid behind that because I was scared to admit who I really liked. I never thought I'd have a chance with him, but I knew with the way you felt about Edward, I'd be safe."

"I wish I had been more like that." Bella ran her fingers through her hair. "So are Jazz and Edward…"

"Still friends? Not so much. Edward sort of sticks to himself these days. He took over his uncle's garage, and we don't really see him."

"He told me Rose and Emmett are married."

"Yeah, but let's not talk about them. Bells, this is a happy night."

"Bella Swan? You actually made it."

"Angela, I decided last minute. Ness wanted to come see Jake," she said hugging her oldest and dearest friend.

"I can't believe your little sister is getting married."

"I know. Mom is freaking out. She really doesn't want to see Charlie."

"It will work out. Oh, you have to come meet Ben."

Bella looked back at Alice. "Oh go. I need to find Jazz anyway."

She let Angela lead her across the gym. So many memories flooded her mind. She remembered the dance she attended once in hopes of Edward showing up. Of course that was before they started dating; if you want to call what they did dating. That night had been a disaster and left her even more confused on who Edward Cullen really was.

"So what ever happened to Eric?" Bella turned her attention back to her friend.

"He lost his scholarship at U Dub after knocking some chick up."

"Oh no."

Angela just laughed. "I'm just glad it wasn't me. So, are you going to see Edward while you are in town?"

"Can we please not talk about Edward Cullen? That is one thing about high school I want to forget, my obsession with him."

"No problem. My lips are sealed."

Bella was surprised at how much fun she had at the reunion. After Edward had disappeared in the parking lot, she hadn't seen him again. Rose wasn't there either. She hadn't expected her to be, but was still relieved when she was a no show.

She enjoyed sitting around and catching up with Alice, Angela, and Jasper. Instead of talking about what used to be, they told stories of what they'd been doing since high school. She learned that Alice and Jasper had two little ones, and Alice ran a small town boutique. Jasper was a jack of all trades, but he spent most of his time running after the kids during construction off season. Angela was a teacher at Forks elementary, and Ben worked at a local accounting firm. They hadn't had kids yet, but Angela stressed it wasn't for the lack of trying.

"So, are you staying at Charlie's?" Angela asked as they were walking out at the end of the night.

"Yeah, Sue insisted. I wanted to just get a hotel room."

"You know, she is good for him."

Bella just rolled her eyes. "As long as he doesn't cheat on her."

"Bells, that was a long time ago. How is Renee anyway?"

"She is good. Phil has really made a difference in her life. She says she finally really feels appreciated. Charlie just didn't do that for her."

"Why don't you stay at our house tonight? I want more time to catch up."

"Just let me call Ness and let her know. She and Jake should be back from Port Angeles by now."

"Okay, well you have the address, and I will see you soon." Angela hugged her before following Ben to their car.

Bella sat in her rental car for a few minutes before calling her sister. She just needed some time to collect her thoughts. Being back in Forks was definitely something she'd have to get used to. Shaking her head clear of haunting memories, she dialed her sister's number.

"Swan, this better be good." Jacob's laughing voice answered.

"Ew, Black, give my sister her phone."

"Hey, Bells. What's up? Are you heading back to dad and Sue's?" Nessie laughed.

"I am actually going to stay at Angela's tonight. I just wanted you to know. I will still be ready to go to Seattle with you tomorrow."

"Okay. Did you see Edward tonight?"

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow on the drive."

"That doesn't sound good. Do you need me?"

Bella laughed. There was a time when she and her little sister couldn't stand to be in the same room. Over the last ten years since their parents' divorce. They both realized how much they needed each other. "No, I'm good Ness. You have fun with Jake."

"Okay, but call me if you need to talk."

"I will sis."

"Bye Bella." Jake yelled before the call needed.

Bella took a deep breath before pulling out onto the road. She knew she was in for a huge night of reminiscing with Angela. She dreaded talking about the past, but deep down she knew it was probably what she really needed. It was a step forward in finally putting Edward Cullen and Forks behind her.

Xxx

**Please let me know what you think. I am really excited about this. I hope to be able to update at least once a week. Each chapter I will give more about what happened with Bella and Edward. We'll get some flashbacks. Click and review and I will work real hard on getting the next chapter done. **

**Thanks to infame201 for pre reading for me. I'm not using a beta for this so all mistakes are mine. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everybody. Sorry it has been so long. November and December were crazy months for me. I was working two jobs and had no extra time to really get my ideas flowing. But I am back! Hope you enjoy! **

**Just wanted to thank infame201 for prereading and always encouraging me! Also hott4j for her input on my idea. Love you girls!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to SM.**

3.

Driving through town, Bella was amazed. Small towns never change. Forks was no exception. She passed Newton's Store where she worked through senior year. Her dad had wanted her to work at his restaurant, but she claimed she wanted to get a job on her own. Honestly, it was partly because she hated Charlie's business partner, Victoria. Sometimes she wished Charlie had never retired from being Chief of Police. Maybe her family would have never been torn apart. It had been a long time, but she still held a grudge against him.

When she passed the restaurant, it was all closed up. Ever since Charlie married Sue, he never stayed open late. She tried not to be resentful, but so many things would have worked differently if her dad had been like that with her mom. She even thought she and Edward would have worked out if she had stayed in Forks.

Angela was sitting on the porch waiting for her, when she pulled up to her house. "I thought you were never going to make it. I was about to call and see if you were lost."

"Lost in memories."

"I know it is hard being back, but Bells, it's time to face your skeletons." Her friend gave her a hug.

"I'd rather not." She let out a deep sigh. "But I can't keep holding on to all of this."

"That's the attitude to have. Come on lets go in. I have a bottle of wine chilling."

They sat up for hours just talking about life. The one thing Bella loved about her friendship with Angela was that she didn't judge her or try to force her into situations. They'd had their ups and downs over the years, but now they were the closest they'd been since before high school.

"Ange, do you ever wish you'd done things differently?" Bella drained her wine glass starring out the window.

"Like what?" Angela giggled refilling their glasses.

"I don't know. Like not date Eric all that time. Or fight harder for our friendship when I started hanging out with Rose and Alice."

Angela had to think for a minute. "Looking at the big picture, I don't think I would have changed the Eric situation. I mean if I hadn't been through all of that with him, I might not have been able to see what Ben had to offer. Also, you and I were able to build a stronger friendship. If you had not gone off with Rose and Alice, we might have drifted apart and never found our way back."

"I guess you're right. I'm just living in the past too much tonight. Seeing Edward didn't help any."

"For what it's worth, he seems to have changed a lot over the years. Maybe that was because of you. You were the reason he finally graduated High School. And from what I hear, he has done pretty well for himself since he took over his uncle's garage."

"I'm just over thinking things."

"Why don't you get some sleep, and maybe tomorrow you will have a clear mind?"

"Yeah, Nessie and I are going to Seattle tomorrow to look at dresses. I'm still on east coast time, so I'm exhausted."

Angela showed her to the guest room and Bella got ready for bed. Settling into the bed, she couldn't help but think back to high school. She went through so much that she wondered if it had all been worth it in the long run.

_It was the beginning of Bella's sophomore year of high school and she was itching for change. As long as she could remember it had been Angela and her against the world. They'd been best friends since they were babies. Now Bella was wishing she could expand her boundaries. She didn't want to be on the boring yearbook staff. She wanted to live. It was partly because of the huge crush she had on a certain Edward Cullen. He was older, but in their class because he was held back twice. He was sort of a rebel. She wished she could be more like him. _

_She had always been a good student, but when it came to Geometry, she was clueless. One day, she just couldn't take it anymore and asked for the hall pass. She figured she could hide out in the girl's room for awhile. While in a stall, she heard two girls talking. _

"_I'm so jealous, Rose. Your boobs grew like two sizes over the summer. I don't think mine will ever grow."_

"_Alice, some just develop faster than others."_

"_Yeah, but how will I ever get a guys attention with these?"_

"_Just stick with me. Emmett says he can get us into that new club in Port Angeles."_

"_Like my aunt and uncle will ever let me go."_

"_Alice Brandon, have you learned nothing hanging with me? Just tell them you are staying with me. Mom is working all night anyway." Then the girls were gone. _

_Bella hated eavesdropping, but these girls seemed like they could help her break out of her shell. And just maybe a step closer to getting Edward Cullen to notice her. The rest of the day, she couldn't think about anything but these two girls. Rosalie Hale wasn't one of the popular girls, but Bella heard a lot of guys talk about her. She'd transferred in at the beginning of their freshman year. Then there was Alice Brandon—she was in the same class with her for years, but they'd never been friends. Alice had always stuck to herself until Rose. _

"_Are you listening?" Angela asked her as they were sitting at lunch._

"_What?"_

"_Bells, I just spilled my guts to you."_

"_Sorry, Ange, I haven't been sleeping well. It's making me spacey."_

"_I was saying, I think Eric Yorke is going to ask me out. Jessica said that Lauren heard from Tyler that Eric liked me."_

"_That's cool, Ange."_

"_Thanks a lot. You could at least try to sound excited for me."_

_Bella shrugged. "Since when did you like jocks?"_

"_He's the captain of the baseball team. Status means something around here, Bells."_

_Bella just rolled her eyes. She noticed Edward Cullen standing off to the side of the cafeteria with a bunch of his friends. He was leaning against the wall, and looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. "You know everyone doesn't care about those kinds of things." She looked back at Angela. _

"_Whatever. I am pretty sure Jake wants to ask you out."_

"_Ew, gross. Jacob Black needs to go away. He creeps me out. He is always making excuses to come to my house. I think Ness has a thing for him though."_

"_She's barely twelve."_

"_Gross, I tell you."_

_The rest of the day was uneventful. Bella caught a glimpse of Edward under the bleachers smoking when she was getting on the bus. She vowed right then she was going to get his attention. _

Maybe if she'd just been happy with herself back then, she wouldn't feel so confused now. Living in Florida, she was sure she was over the past, and had put Edward Cullen out of her heart. Being back in Forks, she wasn't sure anymore. It was defiantly going to be an interesting month.

Oo~oO

**Okay so there is a little background. I want to build that background information in the next few chapters. I don't have an update routine yet. I plan on trying to get a few chapters written, so I can update pretty regular. As always I love hearing what the you guys think. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, this is my Edward introduction chapter. I hope it explains a little about Edward's past. **

4.

Edward threw his coat across the back of the couch and kicked his boots off. The whole way home, his mind had been consumed with Bella. It was like they were in high school all over again. He'd been completely shocked to see her at the reunion. He sighed scratching his jaw. She looked better than he remembered. After ten years of imagining what it would be like to see her again, he never imagined it feeling like this. He'd never been one to show his emotions to anyone. She had been the only person in his life he'd ever opened up to. She'd seemed so cold and distant. It hurt to think that she hated him.

All he wanted to do now was change into his coveralls and work on his car. It was pretty much the only way he could clear his mind. His phone rang in pocket when he was halfway to his bedroom.

"Hello?"

"Edward, how are you doing?"

"Carlisle, how's things in Portland?"

"They are good. Esme misses you and sends her love. How was the reunion? Did you get a chance to catch up with Jasper?"

"Never made it inside actually."

"That sounds just like high school." His uncle chuckled.

"Yeah, more so than I expected. Bella is back in town."

"Really? Did you speak with her?"

"Briefly. Alice came up and I bolted."

"Yep, just like high school. So, do you think you will see her again?"

"I don't know, Carlisle. I'm not sure she wants to see me. I feel like maybe too much time has passed. I am not the same person I was ten years ago when she left." Edward sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Maybe that is what you two needed. I bet she is not the same person either."

"You sound a lot like Aunt Esme."

"Well, we both love you like you were our own. We just want the best for you. I have always been sorry that we didn't step in earlier than we did."

"Carlisle, all of that was long time ago. I was able to put it all behind me after his funeral."

"But if I had listened to Esme when your mother passed away, we could have saved you a lot."

"No reason to rehash it now."

"Okay, I'll drop it. Just know that your aunt and I will always be here for you."

"I know."

"I have to run, but I hope you will come see us soon."

"We'll see. Give my love to Esme."

Edward ended the phone call and threw his cell on the bed. He still wanted to work on his car and try to clear his mind. He needed to think of something besides Bella for a couple of hours.

Once in the garage, Edward was completely lost in his work. For the last several months, he'd been working on rebuilding the motor on the car he drove in high school. Between running his own shop and ordering parts, he hardly had time to work on his own car. He also had an old beat up Chevy truck, he tried to keep running.

Thinking of the truck brought his thoughts back to Bella. He remembered the night he finally opened up to her.

_They were sitting the hammock at the loft where his band rehearsed. He knew he needed to get her home, but wasn't ready to let go of her just yet. They'd only been back together for a couple of weeks, and he wanted to do things right this time. Their first relationship was based on one thing only, and when she wasn't ready it was over. Things were so different now. He cared about her more than he ever thought he would. He honestly had no idea how to be a boyfriend._

"_What are you thinking about?" Bella looked up at him._

"_Honestly? How I don't want to screw up this time around."_

"_You know I don't know what I am doing either. We'll just have to learn together."_

"_You're right." He hugged her closer to him. "When I was 7 my mom passed away. We lived in Portland and my dad started drinking heavily. When he was drunk he took all his grief out on me. I missed so much of second grade the held me back. For a long time, my dad was only mean when he was drunk, but after so many years, he was an asshole all the time. When he moved us here, the school system was more advanced than the one in Portland, so they placed me back in ninth grade. My dad went ballistic and called me an idiot like it was my fault. He hadn't looked at my grades in years. I know there are a lot of rumors at school about why I was held back, but that's the truth."_

"_Wow. I know my mom and I fight a lot, but I couldn't imagine growing up without her. What was your mom like?"_

"_She was like sunshine. I remember her smiling all the time. She would tuck me in at night and read me bedtime stories."_

"_What was her name?" _

"_Elizabeth. My grandparents still live in Portland, but my father cut all communication to them a long time ago."_

"_Why do you stay with your dad?"_

"_I can't really do anything until I turn eighteen. Then I will have to figure out how to make it through the next two years of school."_

"_Don't you work for your uncle? Could he help you?"_

"_I don't want to impose on them. He and my aunt Esme just moved here last summer. Even though he is my dad's brother, they don't get along at all."_

"_I'm sure it is nice to have more family around though."_

"_Yeah, it really is. Maybe I will take you over to meet them sometime."_

"_That would be great. We better go if you want to stay on Renee's good side."_

"_I know." He kissed her hair before they got up to leave. _

_The drive back to her house was in silence. Telling Bella about his childhood, made him think more about his mom. He'd tried for years to put it all behind him, but the pain of losing her was always still there. _

"_So, here we are," Bella said when he parked in front of her house. _

"_Yeah, I'll pick you up before school tomorrow." He cupped her face to kiss her. _

"_Okay." She smiled and Edward couldn't help but smile, too. "I'm really glad you told me about everything tonight. It makes me feel closer to you knowing about your past."_

"_For some reason I just want you to know everything about me. I've never felt like that before."_

"_Well, it means a lot to me." _

_He kissed her again. "Okay you better go before the Chief comes out with his gun."_

_Bella shrugged. "He's probably not even home. Opening this restaurant is taking all his time. Plus, he is not the Chief anymore."_

"_I'm sure he still has his gun though."_

"_I'll see you tomorrow." Bella laughed before getting out of the car. _

_Watching her walk towards the house, he was almost sure he loved her, but he was nowhere near ready to really admit it to himself. _

Opening up to her that night had been one thing he did right. She always understood why he never took her to his house, and was completely supportive of all the hours he worked when he moved in the apartment above his uncle's garage. She'd always wanted what was best for him. In the long run, he always wanted the same for her. It was the main reason he didn't ask her to stay when she moved with her mom. He wondered if Bella would even be interested in him. Could they have something again?

Oo~oO

**A/N... I would love to thank Infame201 for pre reading this for me. She is keeping me motivated to write this.**

**Question for my readers... Does any of their past together sound familiar? I am actually basing this off one of my all time favorite TV shows. It's not a crossover because I will be changing some things up. Can you name the show? **

**Until next time... let me know what you think. **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Just a little note these characters may be a little OOC.**

**Hello to all! Sorry about the long wait. Real life keeps me really busy with two jobs and trying to keep up with friends. I have a hard time finding time to sit down and really write. Thanks to the lovely Infame for prereading and encouraging me to keep writing. I hope to start answering some questions about everyones past real soon. I haven't had time to find a beta for this story so all mistakes are mine.**

_All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization._

5.

Waking up the next morning, Bella's mind was still a bit fuzzy from all the wine she had drank. It took her a few seconds to remember she was at Angela's. Then the whole night came rushing back to her. After that all she could think about was Edward. He'd looked really good. His hair was shorter than he kept it in high school, but it was still a mess. She'd never really realized how much she missed him. He was her first everything. There had been a time in her life when she thought they'd have their happily ever after. That was a long time ago and a lot happened in the last ten years.

Bella's cell phone rang bringing her out of her thoughts. "Hello."

"Hey, sis, are you ready for Seattle?"

"Give me an hour, Ness, and I will meet you at dad's house."

"Sounds good."

Bella was thrilled that her little sister had found happiness; even if it was with Jacob Black. Jake had been a small thorn in Bella's side through most of high school. That was all put behind them when Nessie met him again in college. She just wished she herself could find that kind of happiness.

There was one boyfriend in college. His name was Jared. He was studying to be a doctor and from a wealthy family. He was everything Edward was not, but in the end Bella couldn't commit. The night before he was to leave for med school he proposed. Bella declined and hadn't heard from him since. Edward was always in the back of her mind.

On her way to meet Nessie, she found herself in front of a familiar garage. It looked different and more up to date. She could tell he was really doing well for himself. There was tug on her heart and couldn't help but wonder where they'd be if she hadn't left. Would they be married or have kids? Would they have broken up and hate each other.

She thought about the last time they were together and happy.

_They were standing by Edward's car while Bella's dad closed the restaurant. Graduation was the next day and then she would be moving to Jacksonville with her mom and Ness. In the fall she'd be starting college. Part of her wanted to stay with Edward for the summer, but the stress of her parents' divorce convinced her to move with her mom. _

"_Are you sure you have to stay with him tonight?" Edward asked pulling her to him. _

"_I promised Nessie. It's our last night with him." _

"_So you really have to go?" Edward pouted. _

"_I can't stay here with my dad. I don't even want to look at him after…"_

"_Shh, I know. I just wish…"_

_Bella always loved how it took Edward a few minutes to find the words he wanted to say. Tonight was different though. She wanted him to find the exact words and beg her to stay, but he didn't. His sentence just fell off into the air. She placed her head on his chest over his heart. She needed to hear it beat to know he had one sometimes. Over the last two years he'd not always been upfront with his feelings. _

"_You know you could always move to Florida," she said looking up at him. "For some reason my mom adores you. She wouldn't mind helping you find a place. I mean you are graduating tomorrow; finally. Just get out of Forks."_

"_I can't do that; not after all my uncle has done for me. Carlisle is depending on me." _

"_I know. I know." It was true. At the end of sophomore year, Edward's dad kicked him out of the house. Told him he was eighteen years old and it wasn't his fault he was stupid and still in high school. Bella never understood why his dad didn't take the time to know how smart Edward really was. But his uncle Carlisle knew and stepped in. He gave him an apartment over the garage he owned. Edward worked there part time during school. Carlisle agreed as long as Edward stayed in school; he wouldn't have to pay rent. She really had his uncle to thank for keeping him in Forks, now she knew it was wrong to beg him to leave. _

"_It looks like the restaurant is closing," Edward said looking over her shoulder._

"_Great." Bella rolled her eyes. "I made him promise Victoria wouldn't be there."_

"_So, I will see you tomorrow?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Hey, Cullen!" Rose yelled walking towards them._

"_What do you want, Hale?"_

"_Emmett's been looking for you. He called just before Charlie locked the door."_

_Edward looked at Bella. "I better go find him. Bye." He barely kissed Bella._

"_Hey can I get a ride?" Rose asked._

"_Whatever," Edward said climbing behind the wheel._

_Bella just stared like she couldn't believe it. He just left; just like that. And let Rose ride with him. No matter how much progress she thought she'd made with him; he always reverted back to his whatever attitude._

"_Bella, let's go!" Nessie whined from their father's car._

That ended up being the last time she'd seen Edward. The next day he never showed up to graduation. Carlisle and Esme came to get his diploma. After the move, they spoke a few times on the phone, but Bella always found it hard to get in touch with him, and soon stopped trying. There had been rumors of what he was up to, but she never knew the truth and then asked Angela not to tell her anymore about him.

Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts of the past. She noticed the time and climbed back in the car. She didn't have the time or patience to run in to Edward. Today was about her little sister. There was a part of her that would love to find out what happened, but she was afraid of what was true and what wasn't.

She sent Nessie a text that she was on the way and made one last stop to fill up with gas. It was a long drive to Seattle. Her back was turned to the store when she heard a throat being cleared. She sighed hoping it wasn't who she thought it was. She wasn't too lucky because she turned around and was face to face with Edward.

"Oh hey," she said awkwardly.

"Hey. How are you today?" He gave her a small smile.

"Good. You? I didn't see you inside at the reunion last night."

"Yeah. I decided to bail. Wasn't really my scene."

Bella just nodded. She wanted to ask why he'd been there in the first place. She felt like he left just because she was there. "It was a lot of fun. Jasper was there."

"I figured since Alice was." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "So are you staying at your dad's?"

"I was supposed to, but Angela let me crash at her place last night. I might just stay with her until I go back."

"How long are you in town?"

"Probably a week. I'll be back and forth until after the wedding." She shrugged, but didn't miss the shocked look on his face.

"Oh you're getting married?" His voice was low just above a whisper.

"Not me." She laughed. Would he really care? "Remember Jacob Black? He and Nessie met up in college. They are getting married at the end of summer."

"Really?" He seemed really shocked.

"Yeah, she always had a thing for him. And they really hit it off when they met back up."

"That's great. Your sister deserves to be happy."

Bella nodded and cut the pump off. "I think she had the worst time during the divorce. She was miserable the whole time in Florida."

"What about you?"

"I'm fine." She didn't elaborate.

"How's your mom?"

"Mom is great. She got remarried and Phil has been wonderful for her. She's truly happy. Happier than she ever was with Charlie."

"That's good. Your mom is an amazing woman."

"Yep. Well, I really need to get going. Ness is waiting. We are going to Seattle dress shopping."

"Have dinner with me tonight," he blurted out.

"I don't know what time we'll get back tonight."

"Okay, tomorrow then. We'll go to Port Angeles if you want." He offered knowing her dad's restaurant was really the only one in Forks.

"I don't know, Edward."

"Just think about it." His eyes were pleading with her.

"I'll think about it. I really better go. Ness is waiting at Charlie's.

"Okay. Just come by the garage tomorrow if you decide. I'll be there."

"Bye, Edward." Bella nodded before getting back in the car. She didn't know how she felt about the whole conversation. It was so awkward like they weren't more than just old high school friends catching up. Her heart hurt because they were so much more.

OoOoOoOo

Nessie and Jake were standing in the front yard when she pulled up at her dad's house. She hoped they could just get on the road. She didn't want to have a conversation with her dad. One awkward encounter a day was enough. She couldn't handle much after Edward.

"There's my girl." Charlie came out the front door as she stepped out the car. This wasn't her lucky day.

"Hey, Char… dad." She smile and gave a wave.

"So you two off to find a dress."

"Yep."

"Well, when you get back, Sue will have dinner ready." He wrapped an arm around Ness's shoulder.

Bella was relieved it wasn't her. "I might have plans." She looked down the road.

"Come on, Sue is really excited to have both you girls here. She really wants to get to know you while you're in town."

"I'll work on her," Ness said giving him a squeeze, "but we really need to get going."

"Swan, you be careful with my bride today. I want her to make it to the isle."

"Aww Jakey." Nessie kissed him on the cheek.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Come on, Squirt."

Nessie stuck her tongue out at her before turning to Jake. "Bye."

The drive out of Forks was really quite. Ness played with the radio while Bella let her thoughts drift to why she and her dad were so distant. Until she was fifteen she was a classic daddy's girl. Charlie was always her knight and shining armor. He was the police chief so a lot of nights he'd have to work the late shift. One night she spotted him around the corner talking a little too closely with a female officer. Something made her question all his actions after that.

"You're so quiet." Nessie turned the radio down.

"Just thinking."

"Is being back here bringing up bad memories?"

"A few, but there are some good memories here too."

"Can you give dad a chance? He really wants to make things up to you. He has changed a lot over the years."

"Some things are hard to get over."

"I know, but mom has moved on and so has he. Maybe it's time that you do too."

Bella nodded. "Let's not talk about something else. Do you know what kind of dress you want to find?" She knew changing the subject to the wedding would get Nessie off her back for at least the rest of the day.

OoOoOoOo

**Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**So sorry it has taken me so long to get this update ready. The last three months of 2011 were insane with my two jobs. I really hope its not another 5 months before I update again. **

**Here you go! **

6.

Bella watched as her sister tried on dresses. She was completely happy for her, but it made her a bit sad. She was 28 years old and still single; while her 25 year old sister was getting married. Wasn't she supposed to be first? She would have been if she said yes to Jared. But she couldn't really picture herself married to him. She wasn't even sure if she could picture being married to Edward.

"What do you think, Bella?" Nessie's excited voice broke through her thoughts.

"You look beautiful, Ness. Jake isn't going to know what hit him."

"Are you sure you want to be here? You can go back to Florida. I can do all this on my own."

"No, I'm your maid of honor. I will be here every step of the way."

"Okay, but know if everything gets too much for you, then tell me."

"I'm fine. There are just so many memories coming up being back. I wonder what it would have been like if I stayed here."

"So, you ran into Edward last night?" Ness sat down beside her.

"Yeah, he was at the school, but he disappeared as soon as Alice showed up. It's like he hasn't changed one bit. Then I ran into him at the gas station on my way to Charlie's. He wants me to have dinner with him."

"Maybe that is a good thing. You can find out what happened that summer after high school. You might finally be able to move on with your life. Maybe you and Jared could…"

"No Jared. I was never in love with him. He was just kind of there."

"Then maybe you and Edward can have another chance."

"I don't know if either of us can go back."

"You didn't say no." Ness raised her eyebrow at her.

OoOoOoOoOo

Dinner that night was really awkward. It had been a long time since Bella had spent time with Charlie. She promised Ness she would stay for dinner and try to get along. Charlie and Sue had been together for a few years, but Bella couldn't really get over his part in the divorce. Her mind kept thinking back to the first time she felt like her dad was up to something.

_Bella looked around her dad's restaurant. She was actually really proud of him. He hadn't been happy at the police department for a while. At first she thought her mom had been crazy to encourage this, but now she thought differently. She knew he would bring in a lot of business in the small town of Forks. They didn't really have any restaurants besides the diner. _

_She checked her watch because she was supposed to meet Alice and Rose to go to the movies. Since she and Edward got back together, she felt like she needed to patch her friendship with Rose up. It was only fair to forgive both. The hard part though was forgetting. Every time she was in Edwards's car, the thought of the two of them was in the back of her mind. She wished she'd never found out about it. Life would have been easier, but then again stuff like that never stays hidden. _

_As she was getting closer to the back office she heard voices. Instantly she recognized her dad's, but the female voice was new to her. She figured it was Victoria, Charlie's business partner. She had yet to meet her. Renee seemed okay with the partnership, but Angela had said on a few occasions that her mom didn't like her and had warned Renee to be careful. _

"_Charlie, I told you that everything was going to work out. After the word got out about the investors, we have already started getting calls about when will be open."_

"_Vic, there are so many things we need to do before we can give a date. I still need to work on a kitchen staff. We will have construction crews in and out for weeks."_

"_You over think everything. We need a deadline for all of those things. That way it insures we will be open then. Unless you are having second thoughts again. You know James told me you would never go through with it. But that night, I saw something in you. We can do this; you just have to do the cooking and leave everything else to me."_

"_I have put my family's life savings into this."_

"_And it will work out. I promise."_

"_Okay, Okay." _

_Bella decided it was time to make herself known. She didn't like the tone in their voices while they argued. She was still regaining her trust in her dad. It was important to her to put the past behind her. It was her new mantra. She needed move forward. "Dad?" She called out._

"_Oh hey, Bells. I didn't know you were coming by." Charlie looked really startled by her presence. _

"_Yeah, I'm supposed to be meeting Alice and Rose, but I wanted to come by and see the place. Ness won't stop talking about the place." She looked towards Victoria._

"_Oh Victoria, this is my oldest Isabella."_

"_It's nice to meet you, Isabella."_

"_Bella." She always hated when her dad called her by her full name. _

"_Well, Bella, I was just leaving." Victoria turned to Charlie. "I will see you tomorrow and we will go over some more ideas."_

"_See you tomorrow, Vic." It made Bella's skin crawl the way he said it. Something just didn't set right. "So what are you girls seeing? I though your mother said you would be out with Edward tonight."_

"_Change of plans. Edward had to work. So when are you opening?" She wanted to change the subject. She knew her dad wasn't too fond of Edward. _

"_I don't know for sure. We still have a lot of work to do. Victoria says we will open in a couple of months. Just in time for you to get a summer job."_

"_Lovely." She tried not to roll her eyes. "I better go. Mom said dinner should be ready by the time you got home."_

"_Okay, well you girls have fun."_

"_Sure dad." She just wanted to get out of there. She understood why Angela's mom didn't like that woman. _

"_Be home by 11." She heard him call after her. _

_The air was crisp and cold as she walked down to the diner. She hoped the night out with Alice and Rose wasn't too awkward. She kept telling herself this was for Alice not Rose. She'd promised her she would give it her best shot. Alice had been through enough this year and needed her friends. _

_She spotted Alice outside tapping her foot. "Alice, I am so sorry I am late. I had to stop by my dad's restaurant."_

"_It's okay. Rose bailed anyway. She said Emmett called and something about a party or something. Do you mind if we just grab something to eat? I told Miss Tonya I wouldn't be out too late."_

"_That sounds fine to me." It really made Bella mad that Rose didn't show up even though she was dreading the whole night. So much for taking the first step in repairing their friendship. _

"So, Bella, how's the job at the publishing house?" Sue asked bringing her thoughts back to the dinner.

"It's good. I can pretty much work from anywhere right now. It will make helping with the wedding a lot easier. "

"That's good. I know the guys down on the res can't wait to get everything ready. The spot they picked out is really perfect." Sue just beamed when she spoke of the wedding. Bella could tell she cared for Nessie dearly. She felt a twinge of guilt for not getting to know her earlier.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here tonight?" Charlie asked after dinner was over.

"I left my stuff over at Angela's. She and I are going to meet Alice in the morning for breakfast."

"Oh, okay. It's important to catch up with your friends. Maybe we can all have dinner at the restaurant tomorrow night."

Just then Bella remembered Edward wanting to have dinner the next night. The part of her that wanted to spend the least amount of time possible with her dad decided dinner with Edward wouldn't be that bad. "I have plans then, too."

"Well, just try not to be a stranger," Charlie conceded.

While driving back over to Angela's, Bella mind was on over load. Had her dad really changed? If so, why did he change for Sue? Sure she was a sweet lady, but why couldn't he have had that loyalty to her mom? Did she really want to have dinner with Edward? Was it just an excuse not to have dinner with her dad again? If her dad had changed, could Edward have?

She couldn't deny she still had feeling for him. There were so many unfinished issues with them. If he could finally open up to her, they might have a shot of actually working out. She was getting ahead of herself. He didn't ask her to do anything but have dinner with him. Maybe he didn't want anything from her. That thought actually made her chest ache.

Her thoughts were cut off by a tap on her window. She hadn't even noticed that she was parked in Angela's driveway. "Are you okay? You've been sitting out here for five minutes."

"I'm having dinner with Edward tomorrow night and I have nothing to wear," she blurted out.

"Then we can go shopping with Alice after breakfast tomorrow. Why don't you come in and tell me how this dinner came about."

Bella took a deep breath. "Sounds good."

When Bella crawled in bed after talking to Angela, she felt much better. She needed to face her past with Edward. It was the only way she could truly move on; whether that was with him or without him. She was still torn which one she wanted.

**Let me know what you think. Hope to see you in a couple of weeks. **


	7. Chapter 7

**WOW! I haven't updated since February. Edward didn't want to work with me and it caused a huge writer's block, but I was finally able to get through. Hope you enjoy. THANK YOU to the LOVELY Infame201 for pre-reading and encouraging to keep writing. **

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

7.

Edward was never one to show a lot of emotions, but he'd been on cloud nine since seeing Bella. She didn't completely agree to dinner, but maybe was good enough for him. Over the years Edward had been on a few dates, but no one ever made much of an impression on him. It was like Bella had ruined him. No other girl could ever compare. Sometimes he wished he could go back to high school and do things differently. He remembered the first time he ever saw her around school.

_Edward was standing by his locker with Jasper. They were deciding whether to go to class. Most days, he didn't care enough, but he'd been warned he was failing. All he needed was to fail out of school. Then his dad would have a reason to kick him out of the house for good. Walking down the hall he saw her. She was talking to Rosalie Hale and that chick she hung out with. _

"_Hey, who's that girl?"he asked Jasper. _

"_Which one?"_

"_Long hair with Hale."_

"_Oh that's Chief Swan's daughter, Bella."_

"_Bella."_

"_Forget it, Cullen. You don't want to go down that road."_

_He could have sworn he saw her look his way before going into the classroom he was walking towards. Now he was definitely going to class. Why had he never noticed her before? _

"_Nice of you to join us, Mr. Cullen," the teacher said when he walked in the room._

_He just smirked and looked over the room. She was sitting about midway up. Her hair hung down around her face keeping it hidden from him, but he caught he glancing at him quickly has he took a seat in the back. Through class, he couldn't help but watch her. She seemed completely focused on the class, like it was the only thing that mattered. _

_To him the only thing that mattered was he needed to know this girl. Something told him she was going to be very important to him. This scared the shit out of him. Edward Cullen didn't pursue girls, the always came to him. _

He'd been right about one thing that day; she turned out to be very important to him. The beginning of their relationship was not something he was proud of. He let too many people around him influence his actions towards her. If he could go back and change everything, he would if it meant they'd still be together. But life wasn't that simple. He knew he was going to have to really work to get her back. They were not in high school anymore. He couldn't just sweet talk her and restore an old truck to patch everything up. It had been ten years, and he needed to show her he'd grown up and was a different man. He would start with dinner and work is way up.

He decided to cook dinner instead of taking her out. Looking through the cabinets and refrigerator he began to freak out. Being a single guy living by himself he hardly ever went to the grocery store. It was always easier to eat out.

He could only think of one person that could help him. Grabbing his phone he hoped Esme was home.

"Hello," her sweet voice answered.

"Good afternoon, Aunt Esme," Edward always sugar-coated when he wanted something.

"Edward, what a nice surprise. How are you? Your uncle said he spoke with you the other night."

"Things are good. I have a huge favor to ask."

"What can I do for you, sweetheart?"

"I invited Bella to dinner tonight, and instead of taking her out I thought I would cook. I want to show her I've changed."

"Edward, that is such a wonderful idea. I know the perfect dish for you to make."

Edward loved his aunt. Since his mom died; she was all you ever had as a mother figure. She'd always treated him like a son. "Thank you," he said after writing everything down. "I don't think I could mess that up if I tried."

"I think it's great that you are getting a chance to catch up with Bella. Are going to tell her about Anthony?" Esme's voice always sneered when she said his father's name.

"In time, I hope I get a chance. I don't want to make this dinner about things like that."

"I understand, dear, but she needs to know."

"I know."

"Good. Now go have a great night with your girl. I hope we will be seeing you both soon."

"I'm not getting a head of myself."

"I know. I love you, sweet boy."

"I love you, too. Esme."

Before going to work, Edward needed to get everything started for dinner. At the market, he kept his head down as he walked the isles. He really didn't want to run into anyone he knew. People always asked too many questions. He didn't like others to know his business. While he was picking out a bottle of wine, he heard two women talking on the nest isle.

"Did you hear Isabella Swan was back?"

"Oh, I know. Sue said she came in for the reunion, but would be back and forth while they are planning Vanessa's wedding. "

"I heard she was marrying that Jacob Black. Such a nice young man. I wonder if Renee will come for the wedding."

"Well, I am sure. I heard she was remarried, too."

"Sometimes I can't believe Sue married Charlie after everything that went down. I never thought he was a cheater."

Edward just shook his head and grabbed a bottle. He hated small town gossip. No one knew what really happened to the Swans. Everyone speculated, but only the family really knew. He hated that Bella had to go to any of it.

After putting the roast in a crock pot, Edward had to laugh at himself. It seemed way too domesticated for him, but he knew if Esme had given him something to cook on the stove or in the oven, he would have burnt it. This was a simple and he go to work while it was cooking.

At the shop was where he felt most comfortable. Cars just came naturally to him. Plus, since he was the only garage in town, no one had a choice except to do business with him. He knew a lot of people looked down on him. They didn't know him, and only judged him from what he saw. Even over the years since his dad had been gone, he still heard whispers behind his back. Some people would never change.

"She's all ready to go, Mrs. Newton." He handed the keys back to the last customer of the day.

"Thanks so much, Edward."

"Not a problem. If it starts missing again, just bring her back in, but I don't think you should have any more problems."

When she was gone he looked at the clock. It was getting late in the day, and Bella hadn't been by yet. He was getting worried that she decided against dinner. Sure she'd never said yes in the first place but she didn't say no either.

"Cullen Auto Repair." he answers the phone feeling defeated

"Edward? It's Bella."

He sighed in relief. "Bella, I was starting to think I wouldn't hear from you today."

"Sorry after breakfast this morning Angela, Alice, and I went shopping. Time sort of got away from us."

"That's okay. I'm glad you called. Have you decided about dinner?"

"That's what I was calling about. Dinner would be nice. Should I just meet you at the garage?"

"Well, I thought we could eat at my place."

She gave a little laugh. "You're going to cook?"

"I am." He didn't tell her it was already cooking.

"Sure. Can I bring anything?"

"Just you." He gave her his address and they said their goodbyes.

He knew if he went straight home, he'd end up pacing the house until she got there. He decided to work on the truck for a while to get rid of his nervous energy. This way he could be productive.

"Hey E! You here?" A booming voice came from the front of the garage. Edward groaned because he knew that voice anywhere. What could Emmett want? He hadn't heard from him in months.

"Yeah, I'm in the back," he hollered out.

"Dude, why are you working? It's after five. Time to party."

"Shit! It's five already? I must have lost track of time."

"Let's grab a couple of beers." Emmett pointed towards the door.

"Can't. Have plans." Edward didn't want to tell Emmett they were with Bella.

"Change them. I don't have anyone to hang with," Emmett whined.

"Where is your wife?"

"Some kind of AA retreat. She should be gone all week. I want to get out. We haven't partied together in years."

"Sorry. You're on your own tonight."

"What? Do you have a date? You're going to pick some skanky slut over your best friend?"

"Fuck you, Em! You haven't been my god damned best friend since you married the ice bitch. Are you sure she is really at an AA retreat?"

"Why would she lie to me?"

"Right. Like she didn't lie to you all through high school and fucked anything with a dick."

"Yeah, as I remember you were one of them."

"That was the worst drunken mistake I ever made, and I feel like I've paid for it ever since. Look, I don't want to argue with you, but I have a lot to make up for, and I hope tonight starts it." It didn't matter anymore if Emmett knew about Bella.

"Oh shit! I know that look. Bella Swan must be in town. She's had you whipped since high school without even living here."

This was why Edward didn't want to tell him. "That's rich coming from you."

"Whatever, I will be at the pub if you change your mind."

"I'm sure I won't," Edward mumbled after Emmett was gone.

After rushing home, Edward had time to shower and change before putting the finishing touches on dinner. He'd told Bella to be there around seven. He was a nervous wreck. His run in with Emmett still played in his mind. Who was Emmett to say he was whipped? He was married to a woman who still jerked him around. Rose was a flake, and that was primarily the reason he couldn't stand her in high school. He had only tolerated her for Bella's sake. After their stupid drunken night, he gave up on that all together. That was the past; this was the present he wanted to work on, and maybe the future.

With the table set and the wine poured, he waited. At seven she wasn't there, but he didn't worry. She could always be running late. Seven-thirty still no Bella. He paced the house, tried to sit and watch TV, and even checked his scanner for accidents. By eight o'clock, he wished he still smoked because a cigarette would really help ease the knot in his stomach. By nine, the wine was gone and he was breaking out the scotch. Could he really blame her for standing him up? Probably not, but it hurt like hell. He thought about joining Emmett at the pub, but there was no way he'd let Emmett get the last laugh. At eleven, Edward stumbled to bed.

**So, where can Bella be? Why did she ditch him? Any theories? Please let me know your thoughts. I love reading them. **

**So, Christmas season is right around the corner, and my second job is retail, so I promise I will try to ge the next chapter done before my hours get even more crazy that they already are. I am just as anxious to find out where Bella is and why she didn't make it to dinner. **


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